Wednesday, March 30, 2022
Come Dine With Us
St. Patrick's Day Memories
As I sit here moaning after my second
helping of corned beef and cabbage along with a supporting cast of boiled
potatoes and carrots followed by a large slice of my Grandmother’s recipe of Irish
Soda Bread, troweled with an exorbitant helping of KerryGold Irish Butter like an
Irish mason ready to build a wall ,and all washed down with a healthy helping
of Guinness Stout, like a moth who has just inhaled an entire wool sock and is helplessly
groaning from his excesses on the floor of a coat closet with wool threads
still sticking out of his mouth , a stream of images from St. Patrick days past
come rushing back to memory.
My two older daughters Meaghan and Kaitlyn
then seven and eight years old at the time had been taking Irish Step Dance lessons
with Cyril Mc Niff of The Ed Sullivan Show fame ,at the St. Mary’s
school lunchroom on Friday evenings for about a year and had competed in Feisanna
while winning trophies, and were ready to join the Association of Irish Step
Dancers of North America, wherein all the various Irish dance schools in Queens
and the surrounding area came together to train in unison on Sunday afternoons for
the St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Fifth Avenue. The girls met and got to know
each other and became aware of the different styles and nuances of the various schools as
they learned their new formations.
The big day finally came and the 7 train
was filled with Irish faces dressed in green mixed in with the usual crowd of commuters.
Some of the other children from the group were in our train car, also dressed
in their Irish dance costumes and they all were very excited. We filed out of
the 7 train as planned at 5th Avenue by the forty second street
library to utter confusion as there were people everywhere crisscrossing each other’s
path. Old friends were reunited, and new friendships were forged in this chaotic
scene as Irish immigrants and Irish Americans swirled around in the ethnic
melting pot that is New York City. The usual deafening sounds of the city were
drowned out by the squeaking, shrieking, sounds of thousands of bagpipes all
being tuned up simultaneously sounding like wild animals being disemboweled
alive while chalk was scratched across a blackboard. It was a discordant sound and
totally different from that which these same wind instruments would later emit when
played in unison. I had no idea that there were so many bagpipe players in the whole
world! We worked our way through the crowd holding our girls tightly by the
hand so as not to lose them in the massive crowd while my son sat on my
shoulders in his Aran Islands wool hat above the fray, taking it all in. Everyone
met at 44th street between Fifth and Sixth Avenue.
Each of the side streets bordering 5th
Ave were filled with the sound of long forgotten friends meeting again
exchanging greetings and making plans to get together after the parade while marching
bands marched up and down these side streets practicing their formations while bagpipers
looked for any little nook and cranny to practice their craft in the noise
street. Fluters fluted, drummers drummed, dancers danced, and bagpipers piped while
banners were unfurled in the brisk cold morning air on the cusp of spring. A parade official lined up the
various groups letting them know how much time remained before they would start
and as the time grew closer each group formed their lines and began to march
down the side street to enter 5th Ave on cue. The banners were
unfurled the wind biting at exposed skin, the marchers marched down the street
in their respective groups in straight lines listening to the orders barked by
their respective coordinators.
The sounds of the marching bands drowned
out the usual sounds of the city augmented by the cheering crowds and
occasional honking cars annoyed by this interruption in their usual route. We entered
the parade on 44th St taking a sharp left turn, pivoting in one
motion as practiced, onto the Avenue and walked due north stopping at intervals
for the girls to dance including a stop in front of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral
on 50th St to dance for the beaming Cardinal O’Connor. He was
thrilled with our troop and applauded wildly when they were done and gave them
his blessing. Later on, the group danced for the cameras further up the Ave and
it was televised. In these years the parade ended on 86th St and
Lexington Avenue making a sharp right off 5th Avenue turning right onto
the street and heading east to the finish line at Lexington Avenue where the
parade participants dissolved into the crowd of parade attendees. After all the
goodbyes were said and plans made, the massive crowd headed for the Lexington
Ave subway line where patrolman stood at the head of the stairs directing the
travelers while expressing in a thick Irish brogue, ‘Alright then now, all you
Irish back to Woodside!’ It was a simpler time when people were not so
sensitive about such ethnic pronouncements and everyone had a good hearty laugh
as they descended the stairs to go home.
When we got home the girls turned on the
TV and VCR as we had taped the parade and got to watch themselves dance down 5th
Ave. A wonderful day was had by all.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all and May you
Be in Heaven a full half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead!
Jim 3/17/22
"Gnomenclature"
We multi-colored garden gnomes,
in floral vestments resplendent,
Beautifying your landscaped homes,
Oh, one day to be truly sentient.
Searching for other garden gnomes,
we'll steal away in shrubberies.
Folks just see us standing here,
experiencing no drudgeries.
Motionless painted ceramic shapes,
watching o'er your gardens,
Pointless to ponder our fates,
harsh nature seldom pardons.
We'll frolic once the sun goes down,
Seen only by raccoons, and owls, or a cat,
Perhaps a foray into town,
What do you think about that?
Knowing I was a garden gnome,
I followed you to your home.
We brewed our lattes, heavy foam,
and chortled at this poem.
An Unusual Day in the Park
A few minutes later… a man in a long
black overcoat and Fedora approached the Hansom as I was adjusting my newly
acquired top hat and fretting over the hopefully unlikely probability of head
lice being in residency. A no vacancy sign inscribed on the brim would have
been comforting.
“Sir, follow that carriage,” instructed the
man flashing a shiny silvery government ID emblazoned with the acronym CIA. It was
not stated as a request but as a demand and since his left hand was holding an
object in his pocket, I decided to comply.
“Don’t get too close where your face could
be recognized,” said the agent.
Snow had been falling for a while and
building at a steady pace. I followed the carriage before me into the park
across from where 6th Ave ended on Park Lane South and onto Center Drive
which wound its way through the park in a serpentine fashion, transitioning
into East Drive. The lead Hanson before me eventually pulled up and stopped at
the statue of Balto on the left hand side. I stopped the horse one hundred feet
behind him. The cold crisp air was biting at my skin although it was easily eclipsed
by the unseasonal butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.
Simultaneously, one Boris Stroganoff had just locked the side door of the Russian Tea Room on 57th street and briskly headed to the park two blocks north, plunging in through the swirling snow, heading to this rendezvous point parallel to east 67th street. Boris wore a serious look of great determination and self-importance on his chiseled features as he trudged to the sculpture of Balto, wishing to be imbued with the canine’s strength of character, the animal famous for having carried Diphtheria Antitoxin Serum six hundred miles to the town of Nome, Alaska through many obstacles and terrible winter weather conditions, saving many lives as a result of his Herculean feat. Boris remembered reading that Balto himself had been brought here to the park on December 17th, 1925 for the dedication of his likeness. Boris mused that he only had to walk half a mile in the snow.
I
held my carriage behind the lead carriage before me where Boris Stroganoff had
strolled up and climbed inside. A second figure approached it on foot and I
recognized him as the driver who had asked me to watch his carriage. After a
few minutes, Mr Stroganoff exited the vehicle stuffing a folded brown Manila
envelope into his breast pocket and heading off into the storm. My CIA cohort
approached me now.
“Thank you very much,” he said. “You have
helped Agent Tanner in the lead carriage, and I very much. We were short a body
to drive this carriage while I got close enough on foot to the forward carriage
to overpower Mr. Stroganoff if things went awry.”
“You’re very welcome,” I exclaimed
climbing down from the carriage. I shook his hand and exited the park without asking
any questions. Upon arrival at home, as I was putting my coat away, I found a
sealed envelope in my pocket stamped U.S. Government, containing one hundred
dollars. The entire day had been surreal, like a bizarre dream.
Sunday, March 20, 2022
Five-Sixths Submerged: A Runner's Tale
Scene: Late January 1978, a few days
after the Blizzard of '78. A cold, but not too cold, winter's afternoon,
4:30 PM. 38 degrees, there has been snow melting for the last day or two.
Coming
off of a splendid Fall 1977 All-Nassau County high school cross country season,
I had to keep my long distance base over the winter, prepping for spring track
season. Distance now, speed work later. Our coach would allow us
our afternoons but he insisted we get the mileage in all winter. He would
sometimes check on us with his car to make sure we weren't cheating and he'd
have us log our mileage.
We
would run 3 miles at a good pace one day, and three days of 6+ miles, with
one day 10 miles and up. Two times a week we would do a morning five-miler
BEFORE school. That's a 6:30 AM on-the-road calling. My Dad was always up
already, getting ready to go to work. He was proud of my dedication. My fellow
cross country and track teammates were running machines, and we were used to
winning, having been County Class “C” champs a year earlier, in 1976.
Having
been unable to run outside effectively for at least five blizzard days, I was
antsy and just wanted to run some mileage. After all, a pent up 17-year-old
young man and athlete needs to be active. Or explode! Or perish! The near 40 degrees had me don a tee shirt
and sweat shirt, maybe a woolen hat, and running shorts. No sweat pants
for this runner, Hey, it’s 40 degrees, not 20.
At
my parents’ good house in the Nassau County suburbs, we were perfectly middle
class. Dad had a good job for Pan American Airlines but worked his ass
off for us, as did my Mom raising a nice family in a good town with excellent
schools. We had the hard-earned opportunity to succeed.
So,
one fine winter’s afternoon, say a Tuesday, this growing boy embarked upon what
he thought would be your average "10-miler." Back then I never,
ever thought of myself as a “lowly” jogger. I never fit the image of a fat, old guy (like
me now), wearing three layers of sweatpants and sweatshirts, with a stupid 1970s
head band, jogging slowly and profusely sweating. And they usually looked bad
doing it. Ha Ha. I was, back then, so many years ago, surely not that guy.
With the snow melt, I had to avoid or
leap over puddles and small rivers of water heading to our suburban sewers.
That would always make for an added difficulty to the distance run. Snow, ice, slush, water, wind, and traffic
were factors inhibiting winter running. As I ran my mileage, I left my little
middle-class town and trod northwards into Old Westbury, where the rich people
lived. I felt very fortunate to live near here, as running in Old
Westbury, Matinecock, and Old Brookville was always nice as you had two lane
roads, giant houses and estates to run by, and a safe place to relieve oneself
(sorry, TMI) if one had to. A long distance run may bring things on, if
you know what I mean. The near country roads would cross the Long Island
Expressway on bridges well above the busy L.I.E., so it was like the huge
highway was never an obstacle. Watch out for cars and trucks zooming along
parallel on the L.I.E. service roads, though. I legged out my first three miles to get to a
private property horse farm where there was a one lane paved farm road that
took me deep away from the service road and into C.W. Post College property and
the vast rolling hills of the S.U.N.Y. Old Westbury campus.
As
I drove on, running, sweating (not like the fat, old guy), and covering ground,
running up a nice hill, 200 yards of incline, only to run down the other side,
closer and closer to my weather-related destiny. At a certain point on the
SUNY Old Westbury campus, there is a gated entrance and exit leading to the
L.I.E. west-bound service road. As I ran about 300 yards towards the
gate, in the distance another 100 yards away, I spied an odd sight.
Up
ahead was low ground with a small valley where the campus road met the L.I.E.
service road. Well, a lesson in gravity and meteorology met me head on. The
massive snows, now melting all day, have begun to pool, excuse me, to
"lake," as in accumulate to form a giant snow melt lake. To my
growing consternation, with seven miles behind me, and only three to get home,
I am perplexed by a giant water obstacle. To my immediate front, a mere 50
yards away, is a Volkswagen bus, at six feet high, smack in the middle of the
snow melt lake, with only about one foot of the vehicle above the water's
surface. Talk about a ruined interior, engine, electrical system....well, the
whole bus was wrecked.
Knowing
that in 38 degrees, a swim in five feet of snow melt lake water would be
perilous, I had a decision to make. If I retraced my steps, 7 miles in,
it would have been a 14-miler. At this point, I needed to get around this frigidly
watery obstacle.
My
running shoes, sometimes called sneakers, were wet and getting heavy. I just
wanted to get home. To a hot shower and a warm home. My zeal for this running craft was now
waning; the joys and sense of accomplishment were rapidly evaporating, unlike
the “lake” ahead. I looked to my right and left, off of the two-lane
college campus entrance road. There seemed to be water everywhere I needed to
go. Knowing the area well when not flooded, I probed the wet grass and
edge of a densely wooded area. Geez, there is absolutely no one around,
not even a New York State trooper or campus police to tell me to turn back.
"I'd turn back if I were you," said no signage. The sun was thinking
about setting in the next half hour or so, I needed to get the heck out of
there.
Probing
further to my right, off-road, into the watery and muddy wood line I did venture.
Damn! I sloshed into water six inches deep. My sneakers are now submerged
and soaked. That's just great, I said, a 1978 period phrase more likely.
Perhaps the use of an expletive. Resigning
myself to the fact that I will run home any way I can, I realized that I will
survive if just my feet are wet. I was all in, so to speak. Figuratively,
of course, all in to the dilemma, not the drink. Progressing, rather
sloshing, through a foot of water, I ventured further off-road. Nobody
knows I'm here, if I were to fall or injure myself. Be careful, you dumb ass.
Pressing
southwest to a dry hill about 30 yards away, I sloshed into the unknown. Like
a true murky lake, I could not see its depth further ahead. My next slosh
resulted in a plunk! Knee deep in the icy sauce. Oh, crap. I must
drive on, continue mission, Charlie Mike. Sloshing knee deep for 10
yards, I cannot go back, only forward. Continuing
the slosh, I plunk again, this time waist deep. Great! I am screwed
now. Everything wants in. My bare legs and everything navel down is
soaked. Woooaaahhh. I cannot go back. No longer sloshing, but now wading into the
frozen element, I breathe in the shiver of a young man very wet in belly deep
ice water. It was beyond refreshing;
more like shocking.
Whose
fault is it? Mine and mine alone. Am I to perish at age 17 1/2? My Mom
and Dad will be sad. Same for the track coach, although he bore no
responsibility at all for my poor decisions.
Wading forward, I am a freezing idiot in a real pinch. I am a mere 20
yards from higher ground that will get me to the unsubmerged portion of the
L.I.E. west-bound service road. If I can get to the road, I can sprint like a
man on fire to the Old Westbury Police Station a half mile away. God help me.
Wading,
eyes on the prize, a final plunk! Oh, no! Chest deep in a frosty swimming
hole. I am totally screwed. Having no other recourse but to soldier on,
soaked like a sponge in the kitchen sink water, I literally swam the final five
yards. My sanctuary within my grasp, I clawed up and climbed out of my
potential watery grave. Thank you, God!
I
ran my drenched frame up the hill and over a small ridge line to finally spy
the "dry" service road. Tumbling and sliding down the snowy and
wet-leaved hill, I am now standing on a dry street. I never wanted to feel
pavement under my feet more than at this moment. The frosty, probably 37 degree, air is
starting to freeze the wet clothes to my body. Awesome. I started to run over the
crest of the hill when I saw my vehicle of deliverance. Sitting parked at
the service road curbside 100 yards away, I sprinted to an Old Westbury Police
cruiser. In not a few wealthier Long
Island towns, they are served by Nassau or Suffolk County police and their own
local police force.
Knowing
now that I was not going to die, I tried to keep my composure and to tell the
town cops that I fell in the water, without a long and arduous explanation.
Asking them, begging them to drive me home, a big three miles, they said get in
and drove me home.
As
the O.W. police cruiser pulled into our family home driveway, I jumped out,
said Thanks to the kind officers, ran into the house and up the stairs. I
shouted to my Mom that I was OK and that I would explain after a nice hot
shower. I was not dead. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.
This highly-motivated, in-awesome-shape high school runner learned a number of
valuable lessons.
As an exclamation point on the whole
debacle, the following day, our local Long Island newspaper, Newsday, covered the massive flooding
due to blizzard snow melt. One telltale photo, from all the photos that
they may have taken that day, was a helicopter aerial view of THE Volkswagen
bus, five sixths submerged. I was there! I could have died there, but did
not. Alive to tell this tale, 44 years later.
I
did not tell the coach that I ran “only” seven miles that day.
I
love the fact that the Newsday photo
was of exactly where I was. Proof to back up a true story. The
time-weathered photo is somewhere deep in the Melnick archive, perhaps as deep
as the cold snow melt lake that I had gone swimming in. Give your body to
the game, indeed.
Richard Melnick,
Writing from the Heart assignment.
March 14, 2022.
Lost and Found: A Love Story
A Chance Encounter
Writing prompt:
I was strolling along Park Lane South where the horse and carriages are lined up on the pavement near Central Park when one of the drivers called out to me and said, "Excuse me! I need to leave for a few minutes. Would you mind sitting up here and minding my carriage in the meantime?" I had no pressing matters to attend to and thought it a rare opportunity that Chance had landed me, so I stepped up into the cab and took the reins. The driver then vanished. A few moments later ....
I couldn’t resist looking in the cab. To my surprise there was a box of kittens. How sweet the sound of their meow’s. They must be so hungry. I grabbed some potted meat from my sack and fed them right away.
As they were cleaning themselves getting ready for a nap, I pet each one of them. One was a striped tabby, two were black, two were orange and one was calico. Six beautiful kittens.
As I pet the calico, I felt a sharp bump in its shoulder blade. I pulled the fur back and I saw the beginnings of a wing. I checked the other side, another wing. I was stunned.
The remaining kittens had the same wings. Elated I eagerly waited for the driver to come back and explain this miracle.
An hour went by and no driver returned. The horse was getting hungry and restless. I got him some hay from a wayward bale left nearby.
Another hour passed; kittens are sound asleep now. I asked some of the other carriage drivers if they knew who the carriage I was minding belonged to. No one knew.
I was left with a problem. What am I to do with this horse, carriage and box of kittens with wings? Suddenly the driver appeared. “Sorry for taking so long; thanks for waiting.”
Miffed I nodded and asked about the kittens. “I heard the kittens cry and took the liberty to feed them, what are you planning to do with them?”
“What kittens?” he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
“These kittens in the box,” I replied.
“I had no idea there were kittens in the cab. You can have them,” the driver responded quickly and sped away in haste.
“OK then, I will be on my way.” I grabbed the box and in these few short hours the kittens became full grown cats with fully formed wings. “Oh my.” I muttered under my breath. I covered the box with my sweater and started home.
I am not sure what happened, but I got lost walking in the direction I had walked for years. I stopped to get my bearings and the box of kittens was getting heavy. They were watching me walk, their heads bobbing up and down.
“Where am I?”
Suddenly a white winged cat swooped past me. The kittens now grown cats were meowing loudly as if calling out to the white cat. The white cat landed; she was the size of a Thanksgiving turkey. I put the box on the ground. The white cat with wings smelled the box and the kittens and she covered them with her huge six foot wing span.
“Thank you for rescuing my babies; that driver works for an evil man who wanted to drown and kill my children. I am forever grateful to you. As payment for your kindness, as a reward here is a box of gold to use as you wish.” And with that she and her babies were gone.
“But wait, how can I contact you?” I shouted in the dust.
Puzzled, I gathered myself and looked for a way home with the box under my arm. Here were all the familiar streets I traveled, yet I knew that I had been in the presence of magic. I couldn’t tell anyone, however. no one would believe I rescued a box of winged kitties who were about to be killed and that their mother - a white winged cat - found us. Scratching my head, I arrived home.
Settling down I opened the box of gold and I knew I would be quite well off for a long time to come.
March 2022
Sunday, March 13, 2022
A Walk in the Park
My life is a three-ring circus! Ah, at last their
fighting and roughhousing has finally stopped. Each of my sons is tucked away
in his Edu-Pod like a chicken in an egg and their lessons have commenced. SL3 and
I can finally catch a break. SL3 has just shut herself down and I am going for
a walk. It is not easy being a mother on Perseus 6.
Exiting my domicile, I wave to The Smiths as
they float by in their bright new mover just purchased from the showroom.
“Hello, Mrs. Smith,” I yell.
I wonder how they can afford this vehicle; it
costs many credits. Ten foot tall purple and orange noodle worms wiggle out of
my way, parting like multicolored tree trunks, sprinkling their accumulation of
snow from last night’s dusting as I pass, while reminding me of 20th
century car dealership inflatable men on earth or equally bizarre children’s
pool noodle floats. I have never gotten used to the way the ground wraps itself
around my feet on this planet. It is almost like walking in a swamp, as I walk
along the quiet street and into the park. Kickapoos and Hanzels play in the
trees chasing each other and throwing magnetic nuts up in the air and catching
them with their ferrous tails, spreading the white frozen powdery snow everywhere,
before consuming the tasty treats.
My primary unit, Zon will be back from Rigel
3 tomorrow with souvenirs and fascinating stories of the unusual customs of the
planet. I pass a hill covered in Kuge bushes in full bloom smelling like a
mixture of chestnuts and avocado. It brings back memories of earth. Maybe we
will visit Mother Earth next period; it has been a long while since we were
home. Bright fire-engine red Flojams and Blue Nans dart among the trees, while
Barrow Bees fly in all directions, in spite of the cold temperatures, with
their green luminous wings buzzing past one’s ear. The three moons are setting
in the east following one another in a line to the horizon, like ducklings
follow their mother. Our bulbous, spherical binary suns begin their daily dance
as the red sky transforms momentarily to a beautiful orange before the dance
ends and they set off in opposite directions.
I must be getting back home as SL3 will be
refreshed soon and needing a domestic program for the rest of the day, and my
sons will have completed their cerebral cortex saturation process anytime now, and
I still need to visualize a meal for SL3 to prepare for dinner. It is not easy
being a mother on Perseus 6 but I find that these walks in the park are very
therapeutic…
Friday, March 11, 2022
Wandering Mind
Too many times my mind has wandered away to another place. I could end up mentally in the past, present or future. Worries, wishes, hopes and dreams reside there. I am lying down on the couch.
What am I supposed to be doing, is it time to fix dinner, did I feed the cats.
Ugh I can’t move from the couch. It’s snowing out and I have to get to the store.
Watching the weather channel, it’s supposed to snow for a few hours. The snow may turn to rain.
I like green. Green flowers, green money.
Charles Entemann died today at age 92, love those cakes.
Bijou sleeping in front of the computer is his favorite place.
I forgot to get the mail.
I can do sit ups in bed. That would be easy.
Isn’t it silly that I have I have so many unread library books?
How many tomatoes do I need for the salad?
Ugh, gotta get up and get to the store. It was fun while it lasted.
Georgia
My Family and World War II
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