Old Man Winter Oversleeps

It was a beautiful fall day and Old Man Winter was sitting on the porch. He enjoyed the off time but was a little bored and looking forward to the upcoming season. The old man opened his mail and found an invitation from Autumn to come for tea. Winter always liked Autumn and she always put out plenty of those little sandwiches with the crust cut off and delicious pastries. He responded immediately and looked forward to the occasion. It was better to get along with your coworkers whenever possible.

When the day had finally come, Winter cleaned up nicely and arrived on time for the party. Autumn met him at the door dressed in a long flowing gown as was her usual style. Her long golden hair hung loose to her waist and a wreath of beautiful dried leaves encircled her head.

“It’s good to see you, Winter. Glad you could come.”

“Thank you for the invite,” he said.

They had a nice conversation and Autumn brought out tea and sandwiches. Winter consumed his beverage rather quickly and she poured him a second cup. Soon he became drowsy and fell into a deep slumber. Unbeknownst to the old man Autumn had added a few extra ingredients to the tea, not wanting to relinquish the weather so soon.

Fall went on and on with the leaves not falling until the solstice. Autumn conditions persisted. January came and went with hardly a snowflake. The humans rejoiced at their good luck.

“Forget the Farmers Almanac,” they cried. “They don’t know what they are talking about anymore!”

February came with mild weather. Near the end of the month, a bird alighted near Winter singing his spring love song. Winter stirred now and looked around trying to get his bearings. Then he remembered the tea party. He howled a horrific bellow that reverberated off the mountains. Marching home he passed an electronics store with the weather man on television announcing that Old Man Winter was impotent this year. Fury furrowed his brow and he threw ice balls at the set until it broke.

I will deal with Autumn later. Time is of the essence, he conjectured.

Arriving at his castle, Winter called Jack Frost .

“Hi Jack. Yes I know it’s late, but I need you to cook me up something special, ice, snow a little rain and yes throw in some hail for good measure. I need to make the humans pay for their insolence.”

Next he got in touch with the four winds who were on vacation, thinking that they wouldn’t be needed this year.

“North good to talk to you. Yes I know you’re on vacation but I need you and your brothers to do me a favor. Yes you can have June off. Okay, thanks.”

Now that he had his servants lined up, the late winter would commence. It snowed for a week. When the cars were gone and the houses had almost disappeared, Winter finally calmed down. He had caught up in one week’s time and he made a mental note that next year he would pay to cater the tea party.

Jim - March 2019