I love all bugs. I guess it’s because they like me, they trust me, and they slow everything down. I wish I could slow everything down sometimes.
Other times, I like to go fast. My mom and dad tell me I have something called ADHD and autism. All I know is, there’s way too much going on and way too many sounds-all at the same time.
My bugs make me feel calm. It’s really hard to feel calm sometimes. Sometimes feeling calm is boring. Sometimes I like to flail my arms and shake my legs to get that weird feeling out of me.
I’m talking about that feeling that makes me think electricity is rocketing through my insides, making my skin feel prickly. I don’t like that feeling. Moving my body a lot makes it go away for awhile.
Roly-polies don’t have that problem. They’re calm all the time. I bet they never feel weird. When I’m in the mood to be silly-which is often-I like to make funny sounds because my mouth feels strange. The noises I make help my mouth feel better and they make my little sister laugh.
My bugs can’t make sounds or act silly, but I still love them. They’re my friends. They trust me and they like me, because I take care of them and I’m calm with them.
My mom says I should be an entomologist when I grow up, because I can study the bugs I love and discover new bugs, too, I told her, “ maybe,” because I’m not sure yet. I’m only twelve and I don’t think other twelve year old boys are thinking about their futures yet.
For now, I wish I could be more like my roly-polies. I want to slow down my world once in awhile. But not all the time. I want to have fun, too.
Jessica S.
June 2019
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