NARCISSUS AND THE SELFIE STICK

            Narcissus was born into a Greek American family. He lived in an apartment by Socrates Park in Astoria Queens, a largely Greek community. He had a normal childhood and grew to be a handsome well-proportioned young man with a certain habit of always stopping to look at his image in plate glass windows when one came along, always quietly impressed with his own reflection in a self-absorbed sort of way.

Narcissus had a top of the line I-Phone purchased for its excellent camera, and he loved to take pictures with his selfie-stick. His bedroom was not covered with the images of young starlets, but instead covered with pictures of himself – like a male Kim Kardashian. His job at the Olympia Gym offered him time to work out for free before and after the gym closed when he was there alone.

This was not a modern new gym with fancy equipment, but contained free weights and weight equipment purchased in the 1950’s. There were no safety devices and one needed to be careful so as not to be hurt, especially when working out alone.

The gym consisted of two floors, the ground floor for men and the second floor for women. The aroma of the men’s floor was not the Channel #5 scent of the second floor, but rather a musky odor of dirty socks mixed with Ben Gay, and took some getting used to. The walls of the gym on both sides featured paneled mirrors from floor to ceiling and one could not help but follow one’s image as the weight lifters went through their paces ,making sure to keep good form.

Narcissus washed these mirrors each morning, always taking time to admire himself. He would spend hours early in the morning and again late at night going through his routine of weight lifting exercises always mindful of his form and increasingly more impressed with his image in the mirrors. Even while working during the day Narcissus took as many opportunities as possible to stare at himself without getting into trouble for dereliction of his duties.

Echo worked on the second floor of the gym performing the same job as Narcissus but for the ladies. She always had an eye for Narcissus but the attraction was not mutual. One day Echo told Narcissus that the ladies were taking her out for her birthday and she asked him to come and take some pictures for posterity. Narcissus reluctantly came along to the party with his cell phone and selfie stick and took many pictures.

The next day Echo asked him to show her the pictures that he had taken and low and behold they were all cropped, cutting out everyone except Narcissus smiling like the Cheshire Cat. Echo was highly insulted and confronted Narcissus on the subject.

“Why did you only keep pictures of yourself?” Echo screamed.         

“I took pictures of the most beautiful images I could see,” he calmly responded.                Echo was vary hurt and humiliated by this self-centered display. She never returned to work at gym and ultimately faded into Astoria folklore. It was said in later years that she haunted the freight train underpasses that crisscrossed the neighborhood, crying and repeating the words of self-centered lovers when they argued in the tunnels beneath the bridge.

Narcissus continued to work out at the gym for years, always keeping to his routine and pining away for his image in the mirrors. Even after the gym closed its doors, Narcissus would sneak in with his old key, working out by the daylight streaming in through the grimy front window.

Several years passed and one day construction workers entered the storefront for renovations and found the skeletal remains of Narcissus sitting in a chair, weights in hand pining away for himself in one of the mirrors.

Big Jim

Nov. 2019