Time for a Change

Well, I have come up blank for several days now in reference to our recent writing assignment. I had considered borrowing someone else’s life, remembering their experiences instead of my own but decided against this course of action, as being a desperate attempt at inspiration and in poor taste, also, probably a form of identity theft. As I stared blankly at the empty page before me, my eyes wandered to the rectangular lump sitting in my left front pocket. So, I have decided to take the radical action of side-stepping our literary exercise this week and instead drawing my attention to the entropic descent of my wallet into an abysmal black hole of financial chaos! I am not referring to bank accounts or savings but rather the poor condition of that leather file cabinet that sits in my left front pocket with its strong leathery smell of the disintegrating structure, bursting at the seams with all sorts of extremely important papers including my selective service card, just in case the federal government decides to draft 65 year olds! The stitching is in disrepair, the plastic credit card and picture holders are in a translucent rotting heap wrestling with each other, no longer able to properly display their contents. The change purse no longer cooperates with its only assigned task of snapping closed! The bill fold is still there, flopping over like a beaten down boxer no longer able to keep his head up. Inside this dastardly mess the bills are not in any proper order discernible to civilized man.

Inside this leather fighting cage, George Washington is standing on his head, his clones either face the leather exterior or appear to be facing each other involved in a sibling rivalry. They are torn, cracked, or in a state of disrepair. Abraham Lincoln is dog-eared, folded over on the corners and has graffiti on his saddened face in the form of a pair of drawn in eyeglasses as if holding the country together during the civil war were not enough stress for one lifetime, and afterwards being assassinated for his trouble. Alexander Hamilton is suffering from a fissure, scarring his face and has been taped back together at some time in his past with old yellowing worn out tape. It occurs to me that this is not a proper way to honor our Founding Fathers! These Presidents along with Andrew Jackson, courtesy of the twenty dollar bill, who was never very agreeably in life, all covet the position of Ulysses S. Grant’s representation on the $50 bill, in his clean crisp suit along with Benjamin Franklin on the $100. bill, both being treated with respect and saved in a drawer for special occasions like Birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, Confirmations or Weddings. Thomas Jefferson’s portrait on the obverse of the $2 Silver Certificate bill is rarely seen these days. As soon as this bill is found in circulation it is snapped up for a numismatist’s coin collection. Poor Thomas never gets to circulate and socialize, a monetary pariah locked away in stuffy coin collections.

 President William McKinley on the out of print $500. bill can be viewed at the Smithsonian Institution along with Grover Cleveland on the $1,000, James Madison on the $5,000, Simon P. Chase on the $10,000 and Woodrow Wilson on the $100,000 bill.

 The ladies of prominence in our history have also been completely neglected with the exception of Martha Washington who graced the reverse of a $1. Silver Certificate in the nineteenth century, but still required a chaperon by her husband George Washington. Harriet Tubman is still waiting in the wings to be honored for her courageous work with the Underground Railroad along with many other people who contributed to the tapestry of our history.

 

I digress, it is time to go get a new wallet.

 

Jim March

2021