Well, another Met Gala has come and gone and once again I
have been overlooked! I knew by early
April when my Save The Date had not come in the mail that my attendance
was precarious. This is not the first time I have been slighted leading to the
obvious conclusion that Anna Wintour was not given my letter of application as
she would certainly have rubber- stamped its approval. Oh yes, and there was the
time I saw her on the elevator at the Metropolitan surrounded by her security
team where I clearly stated my desire to attend the Gala and she with her dark round
signature sunglasses stood there as if frozen, immobile, like Lot’s wife, irresponsive
to my pleas, muttering something rather salty under her breath!
I had my
outfit all picked out. I would be wearing my best pair of Carhartt overalls
with my signature 4-inch personalized cuffs suitable for the storage of
valuables in bad neighborhoods, and a stunning Duluth Trading flannel shirt
that would have made any of the Kardashians weak in the knees! I must say it is
amazing what they can do with flannel these days, however I digress, my look
would have been sealed with a pair of my best highly polished steel toe GI
boots! I would have been ready for any questions by the current generation of
interviews, being resplendent and dazzling in my Haute Couture!
The forty-thousand
-dollar plate fee would not have been an issue as I had a beautiful melamine
plate as well as a Godfather hero from a local delicatessen discreetly stored
in my backpack. Now honestly, can you tell me that Lady Gaga would not have
preferred splitting my hero to frog legs and weak tea?
Well, I
will show them next spring when my signature look will be eagerly displayed on all
the most famous runways of Paris! Maybe then they will come to their senses for
next year’s Gala…
Jim May 23’
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