Greetings, everyone! My name is Albert Rabbit, and I am here today to present to you the real story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. There are two things I want to tell you before I go on. One, I was there at the three bears’ house where everything took place and, two, after you hear the true version, you will be as shocked as I was. Let’s begin…
Three very sweet bears lived in a cozy house in the woods. There was Mama Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear. They were a very happy family and loved doing everything together. One sunny and warm morning after breakfast, the three bears decided to take a hike through the woods. They were so excited and busy chatting with each other, they forgot to lock the front door.
Now, along comes Goldilocks who is also out walking through the woods on this beautiful morning. As she makes a turn to the right, she spies a lovely house which just happens to be the bears’ residence. She quietly tip toes up to the front door and turns the doorknob. The door is unlocked so she lets herself in. I, Albert Rabbit was out in a nearby garden digging for carrots but when I saw Goldilocks enter the bears’ house, I stopped what I was doing, hopped to a window and peeked inside.
I saw Goldilocks do all those things like taste the porridge, lie on the beds and rock in the rocking chairs. But then, I saw the most unimaginable sight. Goldilocks removed her bonnet, wig, frock, and shoes. Hiding underneath her disguise was a very unattractive hermit crab! Knowing that hermit crabs are always looking for a bigger house to dwell in, I, Albert Rabbit knew just what crabby was up to. Since the house was empty and the door unlocked, hermit crab made up his mind to become a squatter and completely take over the house.
When the bears returned from their hike, they knew someone had been in their house. Papa Bear started walking cautiously through the rooms. Suddenly Papa Bear came upon hermit crab who told him that he was taking over his home. Upon hearing this, sweet Papa Bear was sweet no more. Papa Bear let out an earth-shattering roar and then swatted hermit crab with his huge paw. Hermit crab turned around and sped out of the house.
When everything calmed down, I, Albert Rabbit, was able to hop away from the window and out of the garden. As I hopped home, I was shaking like a leaf.
So, there you have it. As I, Albert Rabbit, am your witness, the real story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears is Goldilocks was not some pleasant, young girl curious about the Three Bears’ house. She was a hermit crab in disguise trying to become a squatter and take over the bear’s house.
This happens all the time so lock your doors
and guard your house!
Jan. 2025
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