Saturday, September 12, 2026

The Night I Met the Irish Elk

 


            THE NIGHT WAS BLACK, LIKE A CAT IN A COAL BIN AT MIDNIGHT. A SLICE OF ORANGE MOONLIGHT FILTERED DOWN FEEBLY, RADIATING AN ORANGE GLOW BEFORE AN ENDLESS BEAUTIFUL BLANKET OF STARS. QUEEN CASSIOPEIA REIGNED IN THE NORTHEAST AS MY FRIEND TIM AND I SPED ALONG THE MOUNTAIN ROAD ETCHED INTO THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN. THE ROAD WAS TOO NARROW FOR A TWO-WAY ROAD AND OUTFITTED WITH A LOW 2 FOOT RAILING TO KEEP CARS FROM PLUNGING INTO THE RAVINE BELOW.

SUDDENLY, ON A SHARP CURVE, TIM SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES, GRINDING THE CAR TO A QUICK STOP A FEW FEET IN FRONT OF WHAT LOOKED LIKE AN IRISH ELK MEGALOCEROS GIGANTEUS WHICH WAS IMPOSSIBLE SINCE THE PREHISTORIC BEAST WAS EXTINCT. THE IRISH ELK WAS A MISNOMER SINCE IT HAD RANGED FROM IRELAND TO SIBERIA, ALTHOUGH MANY SPECIMENS OF THE CREATURE HAD BEEN PULLED FROM THE BOGS OF IRELAND. IT ALSO WAS NOT AN ELK, BUT THE LARGEST DEER THAT HAD EVER LIVED. THE HUGE DEER WAS AT LEAST 800 POUNDS WITH A RACK OF ANTLERS 3 METERS ACROSS AND A BODY LENGTH OF 12 FEET FROM NOSE TO TAIL. HE WAS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO THAT THERE WAS NO ROOM TO GET AROUND HIM BY HUGGING THE MOUNTAIN OR BY VENTURING INTO THE OPPOSITE LANE OF TRAFFIC. IF ANOTHER CAR OR TRUCK CAME ALONG IN EITHER DIRECTION, WE WERE DEAD SINCE NOBODY WOULD SEE US UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.

TIM TRIED BLINKING THE LIGHTS AND BLOWING THE HORN AND REVVING THE ENGINE WITHOUT SUCCESS. THE MONSTER DID NOT MOVE.  MY MIND WANDERED AS I REVIEWED MY 17 YEARS OF LIFE, FEELING THAT IT WAS MUCH TOO SOON FOR IT TO END. WE TRIED SLAMMING THE DOORS AND MOVING THE CAR BACK-AND-FORTH TO NO AVAIL. SOONER OR LATER, OUR LUCK WOULD RUN OUT AS ANOTHER VEHICLE HAD TO COME ALONG THE ROAD. FINALLY, AND AT A LEISURELY PACE, THE HUGE DEER DECIDED TO MOVE OFF THE ROAD, AND HE SQUATTED BACK ON HIS HIND LEGS AND SPRUNG UP INTO THE WOODS AND WAS GONE! WE TOOK OFF RIGHT AWAY, THRILLED TO BE ALIVE AND NOT FAR DOWN THE ROAD, WE PASSED A LARGE LUMBER TRUCK THAT WAS BARRELING ALONG OUR WAY, AND IT WOULD NOT HAVE HAD TIME TO STOP BEFORE HITTING US. LIFE TASTED SWEET THAT NIGHT.

JIM – SEPTEMBER 26’


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The Night I Met the Irish Elk

                 THE NIGHT WAS BLACK, LIKE A CAT IN A COAL BIN AT MIDNIGHT. A SLICE OF ORANGE MOONLIGHT FILTERED DOWN FEEBLY, RADIATING AN O...