Fifth Grade Lunch

Fifth Grade lunch was the third best time of the school day, preceded by playtime and recess. For me it consisted of a series of maneuvers and negotiations. Firstly, Robert Sumsky and I tried to sit near each other in the lunchroom. Robert, a healthy spry boy weighed about fifty pounds soaking wet. His mother was always trying to put weight on him. Everyday he had a wonderful snack that she had provided. Hostess Cupcakes, Snowballs, Twinkies or Yankee Doodles were all common fare in the Sumsky household. I dreamed of how wonderful it must be there like living in the land of the sugar plum fairies.

I on the other hand was out on work release from a Soviet work camp like Ivan Denisovich and received a ration of raw carrots, celery, apples, oranges, or for a real treat, a box of raisins.

Robert loved fruits and vegetables.

I loved pastries with obvious consequences.

            As if we were characters in the French Connection, we held a brief meeting. After negotiations, a deal was struck and contraband exchanged. Our mothers could not figure out why their meal plans didn’t work out with better results. Only now that many years have passed, and these Top Secret files declassified, can the true story be told.