On a recent quiet afternoon, I decided to go see
a movie. I picked “Mary Queen of Scots.” At the box office, I was asked
to choose any seat colored dark blue from the screen. I scanned it
carefully and found them all to be dark blue. Picking a seat I headed
inside. There was no line and the usher took my ticket. I walked in and
found that I was completely alone. This must be what it was
like to have your own private theater in your mansion. My butler was
probably picking up popcorn and candy right now while the chauffeur
waited outside in the Rolls Royce! Wow, I could get used to this!
Gone was the scary matron of my youth marching up and down the aisles just
waiting for some troublemaker to roll a soda can down the aisle. If you tried
dropping your candy wrapper on the floor it was curtains for you. Also gone
were the fossilized bits of chewing gum under the seat rests. If I had smuggled
in candy, there was nobody to catch me and pull me out of the seat by the
scruff of my neck. When smuggling in beer (which we did as teenagers), there
was nobody to give me a double look as I pretended to sneeze while opening my
flip top. Somehow the adventure was gone, reduced to just seeing a movie. No
flashlight interrogations with that blinding light. It was all very antiseptic.
Even the armrests were not bathed in buttered popcorn residue. When you walked
down the aisle your feet did not even stick to the floor like Neil Armstrong’s
first steps on the moon! On the other hand also gone was the jerk that always
had to give the audience his critique of the movie so far, based on his great
knowledge of the CINEMA, always bellowing much louder than necessary to make
sure everyone heard him. Not to be found either was the lady with the horn
rimmed glasses and the big bouffant hairdo that obstructed your view. Somehow
she always found where I was sitting and always sat in front of me.
Yes it was certainly different being a 1%er, but the movie credits were running now so it was time to return to the 99%.
Jim - Jan. 2019
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