Malapropisms

Malapropism (noun). The mistaken use of one word which sounds similar to the word that is meant. (Eg Flamingo, flamenco).

I once had a co-worker who, almost comically, would try to impress people by using big words.  While he was no dummy, and ended up making a good life for himself, he would often start a sentence with, "Pacifically speaking..."    He did not speak in hushed, pacific tones.  Maybe he was a west-coaster.   In the 1978 classic film, "Animal House," John Belushi was trying to rally his fraternity brothers into exacting revenge on their college foes and naysayers.  His speech, calling into question the mettle of his frat brothers, began, "Remember when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"  A malapropism extraordinaire, not for its  sound but for its purpose. His frat brother said, "The Germans?"  Another said, "Let it go, he's rolling." Others I've heard over the years, one from our writing class, Tom mis-typed, "Writhing from the Heart."  Sounds painful. At a minimum, it is uncomfortable. Stop wiggling and write something already.

Some personal malapropisms:

I thought an affidavit was "An act of David." Who was this David guy?  The Biblical David?  Did he act appropriately? I once saw a newspaper Peanuts comic state, "He was covered with aphorisms."

Some RM puns:

Q) Why do island dwellers have better bowel control?

A) They are not incontinent.RM, 2021.

Q) Why was the Queensboro Bridge engineer so faithful to his woman?

A) Because he cantilever.(can't leave her.)

RM, circa 2008.  

(I have others)This joke is incumbent upon one knowing the difference between suspension, cantilever, and truss bridges.

Richard Melnick.11-11-2021