Gratitude

It was July 1, the beginning of the summer school recess. As a ten-year-old, I looked forward to being with my friends. I got out of bed and when standing up, I experienced intense pain in both ankles which also appeared to be swollen. The pain was so bad, I had to go back into bed and I called my mother. When I told what I was experiencing, she called our neighborhood physician Dr. Bernstein, and explained I was unable to walk to his office which was several blocks away. Since it was a time when doctors did make home visits, he came to my home that morning. After examining me, he told my mother I had rheumatic fever which caused the swelling and that I had a heart murmur. It was the time when penicillin did not exist and the only treatment was complete bed rest. By complete, that meant I was not to get out of bed for any reason even to go to the bathroom or take a bath or shower. That meant, my mother would have to carry me on her back, like a pack mule, to and from the bathroom at least one or more times a day. She would also sponge clean my body as I lay in bed.  Since I was not able to do any exercise, I began to gain weight and made it more difficult for mother to lift me onto her back. Dr. Bernstein would visit every two weeks and it turned out I was confined to bed the entire months of July and August. By Labor Day, I was able resume my normal life and return to school. About a month later, I had a relapse and was again confined to bed and mother had to reassume her pack mule existence. By Thanksgiving Day, I was completely cured and led a normal life without any relapses. I would never forget subjecting mother to having to lift me onto her back and carry me to and from the bathroom.

     After graduating from law school, I worked in a small law firm for about ten years. I then decided to leave and practice law on my own. It was a time when I had very little savings, a home mortgage, two small children which prevented my wife from resuming her school teaching job. When mother heard I had left my job, she came to me and said that If I was going to practice law on my own, it would take about a year before I would earn sufficient money to pay my bills and support my family. She knew I had very little savings, and told me she would give me all of her savings. I did not know how much she had and assumed it was about $25,000. How she, a person with no formal education or any business experience, knew I would face a possible financial problem for at least a year, I never figured out. She was right, it took me one year and I was on my way to financial success. While I never took any of the money mother offered me, it had been comforting to me that if I experienced a financial problem, she was there to help.

     Carrying me on her back like a pack mule and offering all of her savings, is a debt I would never forget, and until momma passed away at the age of 93, anything she needed from me, did not require a second asking. I made it clear to my children, to always remember how their Babba Lena grandmother whom they knew and loved, took care of me when I needed help.

     I told my children many things during the course of a lifetime do change; one that does not, is we begin and end with family. Mother was a good example.

MOMMA, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ben Haber

November 13, 2020