Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Scenes from my Childhood


    
“It’s time to go to bed!” my mom yells from the kitchen of our Brooklyn railroad apartment. It’s around 9pm on a weeknight and I’m around eleven years old. Oh, and I’m a chicken. You know what I’m afraid of? You know what’s going to keep me up tonight? My closet.


     It’s built into the wall of my bedroom, farthest from my bed. I share this room with three siblings. The closet is painted white like the walls and has two doors on it. One closes if you push it really hard. The other stays open, taunting me.



     My two brothers and my sister have no trouble succumbing to the powers of the Sandman. Not me. He doesn’t even bother to acknowledge my presence until around 11pm or so. Even he knows it ain’t gonna happen now.



     Trying to ignore the envy I’m feeling towards my peacefully slumbering siblings, I crawl under my blanket and get into position on my right side. I take a deep breath and face the closet. You’re probably wondering why I’d want to face an open box of nightmares. If you were being pursued by creatures of unknown origin, would you feel comfortable turning your back on them? I didn’t think so.



     I’m lying there, the blanket over the back of my head and tucked under my chin, covering my entire body. I’m wrapped in a self-made cocoon. I’m staring hard into the gap between the closed closet door and the stubbornly ajar one. Immense and hideous birds with protruding bones and dark gray feathers fly across my ceiling. Shivering from a coldness deep in my bones, I squeeze my eyes shut.



     Realizing I prefer to have some kind of warning before I’m shredded to death by several nasty talons, I force my eyes open. Big mistake. The birds are gone, but replaced by big, fat, skittering insectoid creatures with oily black carapaces and too many legs to count. Shuddering, I have a sudden urge to tear my blanket off and scratch at my skin. But I ignore it, because I’ll be damned if I’m leaving any part of me exposed, other than my face. There are too many of these horrid things, and they’re crawling rapidly in a chaotic formation on the walls and ceiling.



     I pull my blanket over my face, willing sleep to come. Unsuccessful, I try to take deep breaths and calm myself down. But my mind is shooting off images and thoughts in a rapid-fire succession and giving me no reprieve with which to process anything.



     Now I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. My thoughts become a mere trickle. The bug-like creatures are gone, which I determine when I peek out from under my blanket. But there’s a really tall man standing over my bed. Not tonight, I cringe inwardly. He seems male but I’m not entirely sure. His features are blurry and he’s wearing indistinct dark clothing. His expression is unreadable. I don’t like that. It frightens me the way it does when my father comes home drunk and I can’t tell if he’s the happy drunk or the angry, paranoid drunk.



     The tall man is sprinting around my room – sometimes in midair – so quickly that I can barely keep up with my eyes. I don’t want to lose sight of him but he’s too fast and there’s no real pattern to his movements. My eyelids are heavy but I can’t fall asleep yet. I have to wait until he’s gone. Squeezing my eyes shut again, I inwardly beg him not to kill me.



Moments later, I open my eyes to a world where I’m running really fast and jumping effortlessly from one roof of a building to the next. I’m swinging a sword that’s light as a feather but looks wicked cool. I’m hitting gigantic monsters with it, saving my two younger siblings from their evil grasp. I grin at the dead beasts as I lead my brother and sister to safety. I may have fallen asleep a coward. But I’m waking up a hero.

Jessica S.
April 2020

No comments:

Post a Comment

A Remarkable Event

  I love to sit outside during the spring. The front of my house becomes a very busy place. Daffodils and hyacinths are blooming. The birds ...