An Epiphany

 “Let your reach exceed your grasp or what’s a heaven for? “ These words of wisdom by Robert Browning have been with me my whole adult life as I claw my way to small successes.

P.S. 54, was the  Bronx Elementary School I attended. My friends were all in the“smarter” 3A1,  I was in 3A 2. I studied very  hard  and the following year I finally moved into 4A1. I think we were originally placed based on our IQ scores. I  somehow had a chance to peek at my school record card to see my IQ score. It was not way up there, it was just average. Knowing I was just average was a major disappointment. I wanted more. All my friends were more. All the boys I later dated were more. So with Browning’s words, I let my reach exceed my grasp.  I stayed in the “smart class.” I made the “rapid advance” in Junior High School. I was in the Honor School in High School. I even went on to get a doctorate and taught in a major City University. When New York City had a serious budget crisis, I went from teaching at Brooklyn College to teaching second graders at P.S. 32 Queens.

Every September the New York State Reading Association had an annual conference at the Concord Hotel. I was always a workshop  presenter. One session I chose the topic I Am Special.  I presented a multi curriculum and multi grade program on the subject with many handouts for the attendees to use in their classroom. My workshops were always well attended by teachers and administrators from varied parts of New York State. After my workshop was over, two gentlemen who had attended approached to ask me to come to their school as a teacher trainer at one of their faculty conferences. They wanted me to introduce their teachers to my  I Am Special program. They talked about  their school as being  near West Point Academy.  I explained to them that as a classroom teacher, I had no way I could leave my class, nor any way to get to their distant school. I assured them that with all my handouts and lecture, they had enough material to initiate the program. 

Later in the Fall season, Lil, Hal, Ben and I decided to take a long scenic drive along the Hudson River to see the Autumn foliage. At one point after many wrong turns, we lost our way going in and out of  the many small towns. We realized we were in the town where West Point Academy was located. We passed a tall brick school building with a huge banner planted on the  lawn of the building which said I AM SPECIAL. How serendipitous!!! The school I had been invited to. My epiphany- I am special even with my average IQ!!!

Ethyl H.

Dec 2020